New Year, New Me!
Well, that’s the first resolution met!
YAY ME!
Just by typing these simple words I’ve already smashed my first goal of 2025! To write more.
In all seriousness I’m a long term subscriber to the theory that the “new year, new me” resolutions are mostly bullshit, mainly because I know from personal experience they’re written when absolutely steaming drunk during a reflective moment at the works Christmas party.
HOWEVER, hear me out as I may have changed my mind.
Why?
Because people need HOPE. That’s it. (if you read this in a Morgan Freeman accent it hits harder, try it)
People need hope that things will get better. If they’re overweight and want to drop a few pounds, they need hope they can achieve it. If someone wants to cut down on booze and live a healthier lifestyle they need to believe they can do it.
I see resolutions a bit like religion in a sense that I don’t really care what you believe as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. We all need something to believe in and get through the days in the best way possible.
But HOPE alone isn’t enough for any of us. ACTION will determine how successful ‘hope 'ultimately is. And change is not easy.
Which is the point of this post. The problem with resolutions is when you publicly announce your intentions you open yourself up to judgement and criticism from others. If Clive went on Facebook and wrote, “Had a mild heart attack in December and it’s really opened my eyes to the fact I need to cut down on Stella Artois. No more drinking from January!” and then a few days later you see him in the pub off his face then clearly he didn’t really try all that hard.
Or maybe Clive isn’t ready yet.
We all have things we want to change but we have to recognise it’s going to take a lot of work, commitment, suffering (in some cases) and time. Just because the calendar says a different date doesn’t mean all of a sudden our lives miraculously get better. In fact, it’s probably going to get worse first, especially if you’re like me and knocking cheesecake on the head!
With all this being said, I’m going to briefly outline the things I NEED TO improve on to feel happier and more fulfilled in 2025!
A quick “woe is me” story. I’ve had a shit few months mentally. Some of the things that happened I had no control over (my garden wall being destroyed by a storm and affecting the life of our puppy and us, and costing us bare dollar to fix). Yes, I said “bare dollar”, but it’s my blog and I don’t care. Then I got the dreaded seasonal bug when starting a new job and it just felt like my head was going to explode. Having a few weeks off over the holidays has given me time to reflect on my life and the importance of prioritising.
A lot of the reason why I’ve been struggling is self inflicted. It’s not until you really investigate yourself when you realise the choices you’ve made have contributed to this dip in mental health. You have to be willing to be honest with yourself before you can start fighting back.
Without further ado, these are the 5 things I need to get better at to feel happier:
5) SOCIAL MEDIA CONSUMPTION/SCROLLING:
Evil necessity. Over the last decade I’ve been very active on social media and didn’t suffer any negative effects from the use of it (well not that I cared about) until the last few years. If It weren’t for needing and enjoying sharing my photos I would de-active it all happily and never look back.
My infinite scrolling has got out of hand. I’ve been filling my tiny little head with so much unnecessary information every day it’s no wonder there’s no energy left to do creative things like this, which is actually very therapeutic. I don’t see how reading Derek complaining about the pot holes on the local village page is going to improve my day. I want to stop reading this shit.
I’m so distracted by my phone and social media that I can’t focus on anything potentially way more beneficial to me and my problems.
I think it’s a slippery slope for an introvert like me to cut myself off from the outside world. If I’m on Facebook I can at least remember to wish you a happy birthday and send you a few “likes” when required. I can also mock myself about statuses I’d written back in the day thanks to the Facebook memories section. “I iz missing a gurl……” from 2009. It’s good to laugh at your old self. Just tell her you knob! Cute.
I do love people though and am genuinely interested in what they do but it comes at a cost.
COST: Poor attention span, comparison is the thief of joy, misery consumption, brain power and rubbish information retention
ACTION: Stop taking my phone when moving from room to room. Recognise when the benefit of being on Facebook is now just “time-wasting”. No phones after 9:30pm (spend quality time fully present with partner), arrange more face to face social time rather than existing in someone’s life via social media accounts..
4) READ MORE BOOKS/LESS VIDEOS
It’s far too easy to watch a quick video now to get the answers we need. I’ll be honest, I love reels and Youtube and spend quite a few hours of the day consuming them. I mean, I get it, it’s phenomenal what we can easily access in seconds these days.
The problem is that requires you to be on your phone, which was my first problem above! I’ll come off a Youtube video on “How to fix a lawnmower” and instead of getting on with it I’ll see that little red notification and before I know it it’s an hour later and the rains pissing down!
Books (and Kindle) allow us to be off our phones for a while and get stuck into the black and white of text. It’s a great way to relax before bed. I think information from books sinks in better than any other form but you have to make a conscious effort to do it.
I’m currently reading “The subtle art of not caring” and it’s fantastic. Just remember to put your phone into Airplane Mode whilst reading and turn the TV off.
COST: More effort and time needed to find books worth reading, discipline, requires you to be happy in your own company
ACTION: Appreciate having to make that time and effort as part of your wellbeing, try to set aside 20 mins a day for reading with no distractions around you, practice being alone for short periods of time.
3) MAKE TIME FOR HOBBIES
I can only speak from my own experience but I get proper miserable when I don’t make time for the things I love to do. We spend so much of our lives worrying about bills, trying to please others, coping with work pressure, getting judged every day etc that it’s vital to have that time just to say “fuck it, I’m done” for an hour.
The best thing about COVID is it gave people the mental space to remember what they liked doing. For example, it seems the world is more accepting of the older people who skate or do online gaming. Just do what you enjoy. Who cares what others think about it?
I remember being in Oslo a few years ago and saw a man who must have been in his 60’s roller-skating topless into town! No one gave a shit, which is a great thing.
It doesn’t matter how small or big your hobby is, just do it. Stay in touch with your childhood.
As always, it’s about balance. Call of Duty isn’t more important than going to Ikea with your missus and I can’t tell you how much I believe that to be true! Try and do both instead of rolling your eyes……..balance.
Your soul will thank you.
COST: Taking hobbies too seriously or comparing to others ability can cause negative vibes, Lack of time, can go the other way and you can spend too much time “escaping” from the real world which can have a negative impact on relationships…
ACTION: Make some non-negotiable personal time once a week to do what you want to do, prioritize your own well-being, don’t expect to be amazing at something you haven’t done for a while so just enjoy doing it, include a friend…..
2) EAT LESS JUNK/DRINK MORE WATER/EXERCISE
As I type this I’m currently the size of a small bungalow! OK, maybe not that bad but it’s how I FEEL based on me allowing way too much crap food into my diet.
As a PT for over 10 years and someone who currently works in the health profession I can tell you straight, what you eat is directly linked to how you feel. Heard the term, “Eat shit? Look like shit!?”
For the last 6 weeks or more I learned I was emotionally eating. This is very bad.
Way too much sugar, too much cake, crisps, chocolate, ENERGY DRINKS……feel amazing at the time then horrendous after.
This definately had a negative impact on my mental health. I’m not vain in a sense of I like to show my body off for clout on ONLY FANS (snigger), but I’ve always had a certain self pride to keep a respectable physique. A personal standard, if you will.
When the love handles started appearing I felt worse but Instead of doing the hard bit and putting down the Haribo I did the easy bit and purchased several more bags and kept going!
I’ve started to get back on track now. And I guess it was Christmas, right?
COST: Not weight gain, FAT gain, low moods, sugar spikes, hunger cravings, binge eating, lack of exercise, mood swings
ACTION: Designated day for off plan food (Friday night chinese), no junk in the house to eat, eat more fruit, create exercise plan, drink more water, cut down caffeine consumption (think the high amounts of coffee I was drinking to give me “happiness “ actually game me bad headaches), active exercise 2/3 times a week starting small and building up fitness levels..
and finally……
1) BE GRATEFUL/COUNT BLESSINGS
I’ve always done this but it’s easy to lose track of when your heads full of anxiety and worry all the time.
My default answer to anyone who asks me if I’m happy is, “I’m grateful”….
Nobody goes looking for stress and problems but think about this, how boring would life be if it was completely linear? No highs, no lows, just mediocre….we grow in good and bad times.
In times of suffering we need to keep sight of what we have around us that’s positive. Family? an amazing partner? a pet who loves us? a house?
If you don’t have these things then how about a heart beat? Air in your lungs?
There’s always something positive in the depths of despair and it’s often simple things we overlook when “living our best lives”.
COST: None
ACTION: Being mindful and actively reminding yourself daily of what’s good in your life. Also doing this when things are going well.
Let’s see how it goes :)